Long Distance Dating

Caitlyn Woodbury

caitlyn.gabsbitesizeblogs@gmail.com

Hey everyone, look at me still writing about stuff that’s not comics or politics - what is this?? Well, I wanted to talk about long distance relationships this week, as it’s something myself, and many other people go through!

It’s very common at university to get into strong relationships - you’re close together on campus, you have no parents dictating when you can see each other, and you could even have a course or society in common. This means that you are able to spend so much time together and are able to build such a strong bond because of this. But then summer rolls around. And for those who don’t know, university summer is a long time!

This isn’t just for those who meet at university. These could be couples that met in college but go to different universities, or people who had to move due to career or family. Or maybe that dating app location range was just set a bit too far. No matter how it occurred, the same pain can still be felt. 

And it is painful! We are extremely lucky to be in an age where connection is easier. Your partner is just a text and a phone call away; you can see their social media or message things that remind you of them. For a while, it’s enough. But the weeks roll on. You live life without each other. When you once would spend days together, now you wait for the message to be seen. We want our partners to live their lives, of course. All I want is for them to be happy and to be having the greatest summer they can. But the ache doesn’t leave, and the fear that they could start to enjoy life without you starts to creep. 

I’ve never wanted to be someone that is so attached to their partner that they can’t survive, and I don’t think I have gotten to that point. But all day every day I check my phone - have they messaged, did they see my TikTok, have they updated their Pinterest? All just to get an insight into their life that I used to be so involved in. It’s not healthy and it’s not fair on your partner, but you just can’t help it.

It’s no one’s fault, it’s just the way life is. And if life was perfect, I would have enough money and free time to go visit. But life isn’t perfect, and long distance is a struggle, a test even sometimes. Having completed my first year at university I have seen couples that have fought through the long distance, and others that have crumbled from the pain. And I understand both points. The ache you feel when the conversation reaches an end and they’re not here with you. Your bed feels a little emptier and you want nothing more than to hug them. 

For me personally, I have not seen my partner in 6 weeks, and I know it is most likely another 6 before I can see them again. I know for some people this could be years. And it hurts, so much. But that pain is what makes me want to push through. The pain of not having them around, the pain of not being able to talk at certain times. I couldn’t imagine how it would feel losing them completely. And so, I push through the tears, focus on who I have around me, and count down the days. 

Living our lives does not mean we love our partner any less, or that we do not want to talk to them. It just means that we are still living for ourselves, understanding who we are as we still grow. I think this is one of the most important things to do in a relationship. Yes, it does hurt to miss them, but I will be forever grateful to have someone to miss!